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So ... when I said I'd update more frequently I really meant more than a semi-annual report, but clearly not "frequently". What can I say? I'm still adjusting to my schedule as it morphs and changes, but the settling will come after the next couple of weeks and I get into the groove of graveyard life. My 2 days of phase 4 were stressful and not-such-a-big-deal all at the same time. I think the stress of it comes from other trainers telling you you're ready to go it alone, but not feeling it yourself. All the tools are there, you have resources galore and still the safety net of knowing that someone else is going to bail you out before you cause harm to anyone - but still, it's supposed to be all you. My first couple of hours were a disaster of clumsiness and continuous second-guessing of myself as I sat there being observed by someone who had never seen me in action. The comfort in that is supposed to be that there is no pre-conceived idea on their part, so it's supposedly an objective opinion - but the other half of that is little things your other trainers have gotten used to and a new trainer may see as annoying. It's basically not a fun 2 days, but it went by rather quickly and then it was done. I finished at about 1pm on my second day and was "released" without fanfare, and spent the last 3 hours of that day sitting alone... and feeling a little weird about it. You get used to riding shotgun with another person, or having another someone else ride the shotgun with you. It made me feel like answering the phone and saying "911...please don't be having an emergency." To some extent, that's faded... but it's still a pretty big deal to be sitting there alone. I've been through a lot of training and have come a really long way since my first day at ValleyCom. In some ways I celebrate the freedom and accomplishment of being a full-fledged call receiver, and in other ways I miss the safety and newness of academy. Know what gets rid of that feeling? Seeing another academy class come in and start. Suddenly I did not wish that weekly stress on anyone, nor did I miss being in that constant state of intestinal ill. Not being new is pretty sweet.
The biggest heartache of the release has come in losing a couple of my academy mates. One of them hardly deserves an ounce of my sadness because she just got fed up with the process and decided to not come to work because of it. If you're that miserable and are sure something in the system is holding you back and it's so bad you're going to quit, why do you not at least tell someone that? Maybe they won't care and they'll tell you to quit... maybe they'll try to fix it and you won't be interested... but really, to just not show up to work without a word and basically sever your ties and make it impossible to ever use ValleyCom as a reference just seems stupid to me. On the other side of that tragedy is the sadness and shock that one of my other academy sisters was just let go yesterday, and it was completely unexpected. I'm taking it personally because I care about her. I'm mad because it seems to me she was completely let down and then made to think they were going to try and make it right, only to blind-side her by terminating her. But mostly I'm sad because I'm going to miss her. Connecting with people isn't always easy to do. Unless you run in the same circles, have a ton of things in common or at least bond over some sort of tragedy that cements you to them for life... keeping up a relationship with someone you don't see all the time is hard. Struggling together for 3 months in the classroom and then celebrating success with each other out on the floor was something I loved and don't really have anything to compare it to. Knowing that I have lost a day-to-day visit with someone I care about, and that its happening could have been avoided so easily make me sadder than I can explain. In the history of the place I work, it's known to happen and some just will chalk it up to the harsh reality of the business, but business aside - why do you get rid of a fantastic person who is compassionate, decent and willing to put in the work to correct whatever issues the powers-that-be think she may have? What happened to the "we want you here, and we're willing to work with you to keep you here..."? What I really am not looking forward to is hearing the spin that gets put on her termination and how it will likely get painted in a way that is nothing close to the truth.
So - in short, celebrate with me in my accomplishment, and commiserate with me in the realization that the workplace in general is a sucky reality all its own. What's the number you call for that kind of emergency?
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| | Posted 7/19/2008 9:06 AM - 5 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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