My Haeley --

Today you turn 15. I can’t believe how much time has passed and how long you have been in my life. Was there a life before you were in it? There is so much I want to say to you, but nothing I haven’t already told you many, many times. Your life is gearing up to move faster, become more filled with experiences and choices and it looks like it’ll be a really fun ride. I know some days you are anxious and nervous, and then also excited and all jumbled in your head. All I can tell you is that I know in my heart when you do your best, the best thing will happen.

Sometimes I come into your room and look at you and smile through some very heart-felt tears. I remember the first time someone handed you to me in the hospital, and I had no clue what was in store for my heart. I remember learning how to be someone's mom... YOUR mom... and hoping I was doing it right. I remember how scared I was when you had to have surgery, how sad I was when you wanted to run away and packed your little bag and walked half way down the driveway - the first day of school - the first tooth you lost - the first pet you got - your surprise trips to Disneyland … everything has been a tiny puzzle piece that is coming together to form a truly fantastic person. I pray for you constantly and the older you get, the more and more I just enjoy having you in my world. And as much of my heart is completely filled with love for you, without a doubt you are loved more and loved unconditionally by a God who you more than me.

I am so proud of you Haeley. Moments like today make me miss the child you were, but I also am so excited about the woman you’re becoming. So much is coming down the road and I want you to experience it all. Know that it is always okay to cry, to feel anger and sadness and worry, as much as it is to feel contentment and happiness and to stand up shout for joy and celebrate life. You never have to do any one of those things alone because I am right here to join you whenever you want me. Your friends and other family all have a huge place in your life and one thing you never need to do is worry that you are alone. I'm never far from you and always ready when you need me.

Life teaches us many lessons, and some are more difficult than others. It’s all part of the journey and a process. Sometimes life is not fair and sometimes it just sucks, Hae. You’ll hurt and things will happen you have no control over. Loved ones will even disappoint you, even me… and maybe especially me.

Today another piece of the puzzle begins to form. I want you to know how amazing the work-in-progress already is. You are learning to live up to your fullest potential. You are learning to pick yourself up when you fall. You are learning to accept your strengths and learning to see your weaknesses and try to do something about them. Listen to your life lessons, my Loo… they will be with you from here on out and you will always be able to look back and learn from them again. When things go wrong, move on and move forward, but don’t forget to look back and remember the lesson. I will be here to help you, to guide you and most of all to love you. I cannot protect you from every hurdle along the way but I can and I will be by your side. I'll wipe your tears and help lift you up whenever you fall, and totally celebrate with you when you succeed.

There are so many thoughts in my head and feelings in my heart, but for now I just want you to have this much. You are beautiful, funny, thoughtful, talented and kind - and you are my favorite person in the whole world. Thank you for being mine and for wanting us to have a great relationship. I can’t tell you enough how really proud I am to be your mom. Congratulations on turning 15. I love you.

~ Madre