Lyza_Beth's Xanga

To my 15 year old

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 12:09:03 GMT

My Haeley --

Today you turn 15. I can’t believe how much time has passed and how long you have been in my life. Was there a life before you were in it? There is so much I want to say to you, but nothing I haven’t already told you many, many times. Your life is gearing up to move faster, become more filled with experiences and choices and it looks like it’ll be a really fun ride. I know some days you are anxious and nervous, and then also excited and all jumbled in your head. All I can tell you is that I know in my heart when you do your best, the best thing will happen.

Sometimes I come into your room and look at you and smile through some very heart-felt tears. I remember the first time someone handed you to me in the hospital, and I had no clue what was in store for my heart. I remember learning how to be someone's mom... YOUR mom... and hoping I was doing it right. I remember how scared I was when you had to have surgery, how sad I was when you wanted to run away and packed your little bag and walked half way down the driveway - the first day of school - the first tooth you lost - the first pet you got - your surprise trips to Disneyland … everything has been a tiny puzzle piece that is coming together to form a truly fantastic person. I pray for you constantly and the older you get, the more and more I just enjoy having you in my world. And as much of my heart is completely filled with love for you, without a doubt you are loved more and loved unconditionally by a God who you more than me.

I am so proud of you Haeley. Moments like today make me miss the child you were, but I also am so excited about the woman you’re becoming. So much is coming down the road and I want you to experience it all. Know that it is always okay to cry, to feel anger and sadness and worry, as much as it is to feel contentment and happiness and to stand up shout for joy and celebrate life. You never have to do any one of those things alone because I am right here to join you whenever you want me. Your friends and other family all have a huge place in your life and one thing you never need to do is worry that you are alone. I'm never far from you and always ready when you need me.

Life teaches us many lessons, and some are more difficult than others. It’s all part of the journey and a process. Sometimes life is not fair and sometimes it just sucks, Hae. You’ll hurt and things will happen you have no control over. Loved ones will even disappoint you, even me… and maybe especially me.

Today another piece of the puzzle begins to form. I want you to know how amazing the work-in-progress already is. You are learning to live up to your fullest potential. You are learning to pick yourself up when you fall. You are learning to accept your strengths and learning to see your weaknesses and try to do something about them. Listen to your life lessons, my Loo… they will be with you from here on out and you will always be able to look back and learn from them again. When things go wrong, move on and move forward, but don’t forget to look back and remember the lesson. I will be here to help you, to guide you and most of all to love you. I cannot protect you from every hurdle along the way but I can and I will be by your side. I'll wipe your tears and help lift you up whenever you fall, and totally celebrate with you when you succeed.

There are so many thoughts in my head and feelings in my heart, but for now I just want you to have this much. You are beautiful, funny, thoughtful, talented and kind - and you are my favorite person in the whole world. Thank you for being mine and for wanting us to have a great relationship. I can’t tell you enough how really proud I am to be your mom. Congratulations on turning 15. I love you.

~ Madre

Why I will never be a political analyst

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 16:44:46 GMT

   Let me first say that I do not like politics. I don't really even like talking about it because people get so emotional and I end up feeling not very educated in the matter.   I am striving to know and understand more from both sides of the road while attempting to leave my own agenda to the side.   What do I look like politically? Well, here:

~ I am a Christian and I am pro-life.
~ I do not hate gays.
~ I really like wine.
~ I love rock music and dancing. (I also like rap but not the new stuff)
~ I believe in straight marriage and I understand that not everyone believes in straight marriage.
~ I understand the point of view for pro-choice, though I don't agree with it.
~ I am not a war monger but I'm glad Hussein is out of power even if that's not what the "war" is all about. I'm glad we went to Iraq but I think the time to leave is overdue.

--- I could write more but let's get to the point of writing something so serious.

I hate all the tension that interrupts great fall tv because of elections. This one in particular is driving me crazy.   I'm talking about the specific political race that's heating up between Obama and McCain.   I'm not talking about the candidates themselves as much as I'm talking about their supporters. First off, why are so many open minded liberals so close minded when it comes to listening to other people's points of view? I don't think I could have a political conversation with a liberal. It always, in my experience, becomes a lecture or soapbox rant about how sheep-like conservatives are or how conservatives have got to stop pushing their beliefs onto everyone else.   Let me ask this. Isn't that pushing your beliefs onto everyone else? My favorite, however, is how much stock liberals seem to put into public speaking.   Maybe it's just me and the people I've talked with but let's get off the public speaking thing already. I really don't care if Barack Obama is a good public speaker, or Bill Clinton, or Palin, or McCain. I care about their leadership, their character, integrity, ability to make decisions under pressure, and how much they really care about my family, my country, and other Americans.   Yay, Obama is a good public speaker. Let's vote for him. Guess what?   There is a guy on Sunday morning in church (my pastor) who is a great public speaker.   Let's vote him into office instead. Why not, if that's your criteria? (oh ... he can also balance his checkbook, so that's good too.)
    How about it conservatives? Maybe all you really need to do is get tortured. Apparently that's what makes a good president (no offense to McCain or anyone else who has endured torture).   Let's all get on board with whoever is pro-life.   I can see the thought process now. "Okay, who is pro-life? Oh, it's good old what's-his-face from some state in the south. Ok, so maybe he is all for jacking up taxes, fighting a war that's gone on way too long, or just plain dumb. He is pro-life so there's my vote."   Please tell me you're joking.

    I'm not sure which side of the road you stand on. According to an online quiz I took, I am classified as a Libertarian. That would likely upset my mother, but who can argue with the divine wisdom of an internet quiz?   My supposed party affiliation is defined as such: "Libertarians support maximum liberty in both personal and economic matters. They advocate a much smaller government; one that is limited to protecting individuals from coercion and violence. Libertarians tend to embrace individual responsibility, oppose government bureaucracy and taxes, promote private charity, tolerate diverse lifestyles, support the free market, and defend civil liberties." Apparently I lean towards the conservative side of being a Libertarian.... whatever that truly means. I don't really care. I just know I want the best person in office. I would really like to hang out with both candidates for about a week and make my decision after that. I don't have that luxury so the next best thing is DVR. Now I can watch their speeches any time I want. That's what I have to think on. And the grownup in me needs to focus on the content, not the style, or delivery, or smoke and glitter, but the content. What I see in their eyes when they speak. That's all I've got.   That comes with all the great things they say and do... things that we voted for and all the other crap that comes along with it.   So maybe for once we can put our parties aside and vote for the best person.

Disclaimer:   SmartAss is not a political party, but I am that first and foremost. This verbal cleanse is very general and I clumped party thoughts together on purpose. I am well aware that not all people from the political parties I mentioned subscribe to the fictitious thoughts I created above.    Stop being so defensive.    Sheesh!

Yes .... seriously

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 15:57:28 GMT

Me: 9-1-1

Caller: < silence >

Me: Hello? 9-1-1

Caller: What? Hello? Who is this?

Me: This is 911. You called. Is everything ok?

Caller: Do I know you?

Me: Sir, do you need police, fire or medical help?

Caller: I don’t need anything. If I needed that stuff I’d call 911!

Me: You did call. Someone from your house dialed 911. Is there something you need?

Caller: You'd better stop calling here!! We have caller I.D. and I’ll call the police!! <click>

This is my job. People are by and large decent, but occasionally they are moronic and annoying. Unfortunately I can’t tell them that, so I have now vented and told you.

Thanks for listening.

Because People Need To Know

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:05:14 GMT

   I come from a family of wordsmiths. Maybe we're self-proclaimed, but generally speaking my siblings and I have a firm grasp on the English language. Spelling was always a big deal and now I'm glad it was because adults, and even late teens who have either graduated or are close to it and yet can't seem to write or blog or speak without making some ridiculous grammatical or spelling error simply astound me. Reading between the lines, most people are trying to convey a thought or revelation when they blog or text message or email... but I'm going to be honest, the message gets blurred when the delivery is flawed. Yes, I'm aware the Aubreys and those like us are seen as petty and judgmental when it comes to our criticism, but being well-spoken is underrated and frankly it makes me pretty annoyed.

   The environment I work in is all about communication. Getting information... giving it away... asking questions... making synopses out of people's long and tragic tales of whatever stupid choices they have made. Often I hear someone across the room say "... ma'am, where are you at?" and I feel myself shake my head and cringe. Does the person on the other end of the phone care? No. Does anyone else in the room care, or even notice? Nope. Will it ever reflect poorly on that particular employee if that call is publicly disclosed and people see the words they chose? Unlikely, and yet it still bothers me. It always has and likely always will be a flaw of mine that I am critical of speech. My daughter knows it and will stop mid-sentence when she sees my eyebrow go up (well, actually both of them because I can't do the cool one-brow thing) and she reluctantly says "How am I supposed to say it?" The other day when she was packing for camp she was looking for her rivved tank tops. My face did the tell-tale thing. "Sorry ... ridged tank tops." I closed my eyes and gently shook my head. "It's ribbed. R-i-b-b-e-d.", I said to her. "Seriously? Wow. I had no idea. Anyway...." And there was the teachable moment. I can't help it and ultimately I think she'll appreciate it. I'm sure I used to think it was annoying when my own mother did it, and now look .... I'm inflicting myself on others and carrying on the tradition.

   I've decided to point out some of the most common verbal faux pas I hear and just leave them here for you to refer to as you will. Some of you may read one and think "Wow... she's talking about me." Maybe I am, but I can promise you're not the only one. Once you read an example just close your eyes and say it out loud. If it feels foreign to you to say it one way, you likely say it the other... and you can figure out right there if you're right or wrong. It'll be fun, I promise.

Example 1: Fewer and Less
   We use the word less when talking about one thing. There is less traffic today. - I feel less prepared than I wanted to for today's test. - There was less of a crowd at the early movie.
   We use the word fewer when referring to more than one thing. There are fewer cars on the road today. - That test had fewer multiple choice questions than I was expecting. - There were fewer people at the early movie.   See and hear the difference? My husband is particularly bad at this one. "My bonsai has way less leaves than it used to." No, Dear ... it has fewer leaves. Yes, I know what he means, but it just sounds terrible... maybe only to me and my siblings and mother, but still. After 17 years he still doesn’t appreciate the gift of my correcting him.

Example 2: Acrossed…. not even a word!
     This one is a huge problem and most people aren’t even aware. In their minds, they may know full well it’s spelled a-c-r-o-s-s, and yet they pronounce it with a “t” or an “ed” sound on the end. If I write an example out here you’ll see it the boldness of the error and will think you never do that, and maybe you’re right. Most of the time it happens when the word is the last in a sentence. Just be aware, ok?

Example 3: Pluralizing things you shouldn’t
     Here we have a wide-spread problem. Most often I hear it when people refer to store names. “I went to Nordstroms yesterday.” Yes, the store does belong to the Nordstrom family, but the name is Nordstrom. No “s”. This is also true of WalMart, Fred Meyer, the Pike Place Market, etc. There is no “s” on the end and no need for an apostrophe and an “s” either. If you went to more than one of a particular store in a given shopping trip, then yes, you can say you went to Nordstroms and should then indicate how many. Or if you went to a particular sale at said store you would say “I went to Fred Meyer’s Founder’s Day Sale” Now some stores have the “s” built right on to the name and please feel free to say them loud and proud: Starbucks, Applebees, Macys, etc. All the information you need regarding what to call a store is right there in its signage. No need to add letters.

Example 4: It sounds like it’s right, but it’s not.
     This one is straight-forward. You know what the word means, if you type it out the spell-check will alert you to the error and you’ve heard it said and likely just started saying it wrong. The words are supposedly and undoubtedly. People say “supposably” or “undoubtably”. And see? My spell check just doesn’t like them. Say them out loud in a sentence. The wrong pronunciations even sounds ok when you’re not aware… but now you are, so you’ll get the hang of it and even begin to hear it in others.

I will leave the lesson here and give you all a small amount to think on. I don’t expect people to change how they speak overnight, but sometimes just being aware of something heightens one’s awareness and the change begins.

   Own Your English!

Disaster avoided ... cue reality

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 15:06:28 GMT

   So ... when I said I'd update more frequently I really meant more than a semi-annual report, but clearly not "frequently". What can I say? I'm still adjusting to my schedule as it morphs and changes, but the settling will come after the next couple of weeks and I get into the groove of graveyard life. My 2 days of phase 4 were stressful and not-such-a-big-deal all at the same time. I think the stress of it comes from other trainers telling you you're ready to go it alone, but not feeling it yourself. All the tools are there, you have resources galore and still the safety net of knowing that someone else is going to bail you out before you cause harm to anyone - but still, it's supposed to be all you. My first couple of hours were a disaster of clumsiness and continuous second-guessing of myself as I sat there being observed by someone who had never seen me in action. The comfort in that is supposed to be that there is no pre-conceived idea on their part, so it's supposedly an objective opinion - but the other half of that is little things your other trainers have gotten used to and a new trainer may see as annoying. It's basically not a fun 2 days, but it went by rather quickly and then it was done. I finished at about 1pm on my second day and was "released" without fanfare, and spent the last 3 hours of that day sitting alone... and feeling a little weird about it. You get used to riding shotgun with another person, or having another someone else ride the shotgun with you. It made me feel like answering the phone and saying "911...please don't be having an emergency." To some extent, that's faded... but it's still a pretty big deal to be sitting there alone. I've been through a lot of training and have come a really long way since my first day at ValleyCom. In some ways I celebrate the freedom and accomplishment of being a full-fledged call receiver, and in other ways I miss the safety and newness of academy.   Know what gets rid of that feeling? Seeing another academy class come in and start. Suddenly I did not wish that weekly stress on anyone, nor did I miss being in that constant state of intestinal ill. Not being new is pretty sweet.

   The biggest heartache of the release has come in losing a couple of my academy mates. One of them hardly deserves an ounce of my sadness because she just got fed up with the process and decided to not come to work because of it. If you're that miserable and are sure something in the system is holding you back and it's so bad you're going to quit, why do you not at least tell someone that? Maybe they won't care and they'll tell you to quit... maybe they'll try to fix it and you won't be interested... but really, to just not show up to work without a word and basically sever your ties and make it impossible to ever use ValleyCom as a reference just seems stupid to me. On the other side of that tragedy is the sadness and shock that one of my other academy sisters was just let go yesterday, and it was completely unexpected. I'm taking it personally because I care about her. I'm mad because it seems to me she was completely let down and then made to think they were going to try and make it right, only to blind-side her by terminating her. But mostly I'm sad because I'm going to miss her. Connecting with people isn't always easy to do. Unless you run in the same circles, have a ton of things in common or at least bond over some sort of tragedy that cements you to them for life... keeping up a relationship with someone you don't see all the time is hard. Struggling together for 3 months in the classroom and then celebrating success with each other out on the floor was something I loved and don't really have anything to compare it to. Knowing that I have lost a day-to-day visit with someone I care about, and that its happening could have been avoided so easily make me sadder than I can explain. In the history of the place I work, it's known to happen and some just will chalk it up to the harsh reality of the business, but business aside - why do you get rid of a fantastic person who is compassionate, decent and willing to put in the work to correct whatever issues the powers-that-be think she may have? What happened to the "we want you here, and we're willing to work with you to keep you here..."? What I really am not looking forward to is hearing the spin that gets put on her termination and how it will likely get painted in a way that is nothing close to the truth.

   So - in short, celebrate with me in my accomplishment, and commiserate with me in the realization that the workplace in general is a sucky reality all its own. What's the number you call for that kind of emergency?

Yet another chance to fail....

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 23:00:49 GMT

   So, in the last 2 months I haven't had to deal with the weekly dread of a test that could potentially have ended my career. I'm not gonna lie... it's been nice to not have that hanging over me from week to week. I am just 2 days away from possibly the end of training and the big step into flying solo at the console. I go in to work bright and early at 4am tomorrow and Monday, then I spend the next two days sitting with someone completely new to me and their job is to objectively look at how I do and see it they feel I'm ready to handle things on my own. If I get the green light, then I'm officially not a trainee anymore. If they have concerns, I'll get another week or so with my trainer and then will try the solo flight again at a later time. There's no race, and the supervisors all about releasing you when you're ready - but I'm pretty sure I don't want to try and have them say "uh, sorry ... no". It's like I'm at the point where it all makes sense and I think for the most part I can do it - and it's not like I'm going to be released and then be isolated from any help I might need - but I think the safety net has gotten pretty comfortable and I'm afraid of not having it under me.

   One of the girls in my class decided not to show up for work on Thursday. Just didn't come in. No call, no warning .... just a no show. At first I think people were worried about her and were thinking something had happened, but then when it was discovered she was feeling pressure and just decided not to come in, she pretty much had made some enemies. Training is hard, there is no question about it. It's easy to feel pressured and scared and frustrated. It's easier for some people to project those feelings onto others and make their own issues someone else's fault. Honestly, I don't understand that and while I can totally understand the pressured feelings she must have been dealing with - - you can't just not show up to work! Not in any situation is that ok, but especially in a job like this where people are relying on you to be available to keep your commitments because other people's lives can literally depend on it. Of course someone else is going to cover a shift when someone doesn't show up... but I really don't get how someone can be that selfish and mad and yet that cowardly at the same time. If a job is making you so miserable that you need to quit, then quit. Why makes yourself look bad and get a reputation and a horrid recommendation down the road by just skulking off into oblivion? Believe me, I've thought about it. Not for a while, but early in training it was miserable going in there and feeling like I was doing nothing right. I just chose to handle it differently and even I had a rocky couple of days because I maybe didn't choose the very best way to handle something, but it got dealt with, I moved on and now I'm facing the big one known as ... "Phase Four". < cue scary music >

     My hope is that it will be 2 days of business as usual and, while I don't expect to impress anyone, I want to be able to confidently do what I know to do and not feel pressured to the point of making mistakes that are uncharacteristic of me. I don't need to be perfect, but I want to be competent and relaxed. I love what I do and I love a lot of the people I get to work with. I have resources and training behind me to help solve problems I may encounter, and I want to be able to remember all of that when I'm facing those 20 critical hours. If you think of it, say a prayer sometime between 6am and 4pm on Tuesday and Wednesday. Once Wednesday is over I'll be heading up to camp until Friday, so the next time I post here, I may officially be out of training. Such a journey it's been.

   Later ~

Change...busyness...updates...SUMMER!

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 21:27:49 GMT

     Let's see - April, May - JUNE. I have officially gone long enough without updating something that I likely have lost anyone who was crazy enough to subscribe to my very own blog. When one's life takes on such a drastic change (as mine did starting back in February) part of what changes is the availability of time to update what is going on, and also anything interesting actually going on. My days have become a collection of sometimes tragic and often ridiculous calls from people who think the problem they are having right in that moment is the most important thing.   I get up at 2:15, leave by 3:15 and start taking calls at 4am. You'd be surprised to know how much trouble is actually happening in the wee hours. Someone wise once told me "sin loves the darkness" and that is so true. When someone calls to tell me her son and his girlfriend are in the driveway fighting and she's afraid of waking the neighbors my first response, in the privacy of my mind and safety of my mute-switch, is "Why is your 13 year old son outside at 4am?? Tell him to get the hell in the house!!" People's lack of brain cells still baffles me. Other people who have been in this line of work are less surprised by the idiocy but also less compassionate.   I need to already start guarding myself - I don't want to become so cynical and stop showing grace, but it's hard to do.

     On July 1st and 2nd I will spend my shift without a trainer by my side, but will be watched by a trainer who hasn't spent any time with one-on-one me yet. They want an impartial and objective opinion I guess. When you sit for 10 hours a day with someone there is a friendship that develops and they need a neutral party to do the final phase. The goal of those 2 days is to be able to show in 20 hours of call-taking that you are capable of handling what could come your way. If it goes well, I'm officially released to fly solo and I will have successfully completed a pretty rigorous training program. What I like is that I'm at the point where the book knowledge and the protocol are now making sense enough to feel natural. You can read about something you know nothing about and learn enough about it to pass a test... and then you can practice routines of process until they become habit, but when those two things are combined with an understanding of the why behind them and the outcome of the proper application - it makes something that has seemed often too much for me to grasp feel like something I can do with confidence. I believe this is called learning, and no matter what your age, it feels pretty good when you accomplish it.

     For now I am starting the new grieving process over the loss of my summer. For the first time in 14 years I won't get to be the camp nurse for 6+ weeks. Giving that up to someone else...giving up the freedom of summer in general and accepting a new reality of my schedule and responsibilities is hard. Moving on to something new, better, or just different - - changing what you've done or what you've been expected to do because you're choosing to walk a different path - - it's all life. People get disappointed by choices others make when those choices force them to have to change something as well. Life can't be lived effectively on the expectations of others. Growth can happen with a careful laid out plan, but it can also happen when we jump into the unknown of something and see where it takes us. I'm not talking about flipping a coin or asking the psychic hot line - but finding something you think you might want to do, pursuing it, committing to it and following it where it leads can be a simply fantastic ride. I'm nearing the end of an endeavor that was really harder than I thought it would be and that upset the lives of some people who didn't understand why out-of-the-blue I was going into something like this ... but it's awesome, and to anyone else who is about to jump and not sure how the landing will be ... take a leap of faith and try something. If it turns out not to be what you thought... try something else. And if it turns out to be horrible and you need help, call 911!! :)

   Peace out and happy summer to all. I'll update more often... I promise.

And then there were ... 6 !!

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 11:46:32 GMT

Yesterday was another one of those milestone moments here ay ValleyComm. The 5 girls I have grown to love spending time with all successfully made it through their practical exam and I was the only one left to participate in the tortuous event. I likened it to a long walk to the gas chamber as I walked into the training room for the last time as a student. The process had been making each of the girls physically ill and emotionally unstable. I wish there was a way I could articulate the process and do it justice. Hearing how it works, people think " oh... so you're taking 12 fake 911 calls. Big deal. " Yes, that was the structure, but the setting and finality of it all brought a dimension to it that made it the hardest thing to date. Memorizing all the facts and names and rules of addressing and type codes and policies was hard at the time, and pulling those facts out from memory once a week for a make or break test was the hurdle to clear each week, and the culmination of the final exam was pretty huge... but the practical brings with it stories of classroom-successful call receivers who simply couldn't clear the last hurdle. As I walked into the room I could hear the echo of the voices of seasoned workers here that had been reminding us of those who fell at the last part. Encouragement isn't a gift everyone has, apparently. I won't go into the calls I had to take, but I was sweating, nauseated and on the verge of throwing up the whole time. Once finished, the 4 facilitators had to meet together and score everything I did or didn't ask... what I typed and how I typed it... how fast or slow I was ... if I chose the appropriate priority level for each thing... basically everything except what I was wearing. So I sat for nearly 45 minutes not knowing if I passed or not, but with the knowledge that if I didn't I would have to somehow shake that off and go through the process again in a last-ditch effort to save my job. When Lori walked into the com room where I was sitting with my Valley Com-assigned mentor for support, I was as close to publicly vomiting as I have ever been while not pregnant. She simply hugged me and said "Congratulations" ... and I promptly burst into uncontrolled tears and was overcome with the relief of the stress I have apparently been carrying around. It was weird and wonderful and very surreal. I went into the bathroom and called my mom who said, as she has been saying for 3 months now... "I had no doubt you were going to do fine." I kind of hate that saying, by the way.

So -- all that to say: I am officially finished with the academy part of my 3 month 911 career. The remainder of my training will be 8+ weeks with a one-on-one trainer who will ease me into the reality of live calls and the crapshoote that happens each time you answer the phone here. Depending on how I do, it would be just 8 weeks, or as many as 12. As this point I don't really care... I MADE IT THROUGH ACADEMY!!!

Go Team!

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:36:48 GMT

     Oddly enough, at my still-fairly-new and super-grownup job... it's Spirit Week! This is actually National Telecommunicators Week, so you should all be a little more mindful of and generally thankful to the people on the other end of the phone when you dial 911.   I don't mean me... at least not yet. The highlights of the week have been eclectic, for sure.

       * Monday: Hawaiian Day - I got to type my first non-training 911 call next to a trainer. she talked... I typed. It was scary as CRAP, but frighteningly fun

       * Tuesday: Sports Day - I got out of my pj's and into some really comfortable sweats and a hoodie for the day. I learned that KFC takes pot pie reservations

       * Wednesday: Pajama Day - i slept in sweats and then got into pj's for the day. I attended an awards ceremony for a couple of call receivers and was impressed by their accomplishments and proud to work at the same place. The King County Medical Director was there, and a Fire Chief, and KING 5 news... and I was in pj's. There goes my award chances.

       * Thursday: Camo Day - i kept referring to this as commando day, and thankfully no one dressed accordingly. The big fat deal for today was that I took and PASSED MY WRITTEN FINAL EXAM!!! All 6 of us passed, and passed well. The 2nd to last hurdle has been cleared. I almost have successfully completed my training... and I am even starting to feel ready to the job.

       * Friday: Police/Fire/EMS Day - today people will dress in their fire station sweatshirts and Bacon Bowl hats and show support for law enforcement and fire/medic services. I am dressed "business casual" today because 7 people from Admin (including the director of the center) are taking us to a 2-hour lunch to celebrate us passing and to officially welcome us to Valley Comm... now that we haven''t flunked out. I feel a little bit important today. :)

   The weekend hold busyness and volleyball and a lighter study load that previous weekends.   I'll be putting the finishing touches on my reference book that will be my lifeline and guide to get me through my practical exam on Tuesday. All of that is days away though. Tonight I will doing some semi-serious partying with the 5 other girls who have battled hard and totally earned the right to be called a big fat deal!!   Don't worry ... they aren't at all offended by that.

   PARTY AT DOCK STREET!!!!!!!

CAUTION: Angry Post Ahead

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 01:33:58 GMT

     I tried to go see a movie this weekend. What I saw isn't important and who I saw it with isn't either. What I want readers to take away from this post-film blogging of mine is a little bit of knowledge and some awareness regarding the unwritten code-of-courtesy that has all but disappeared inside the average theater. In order to avoid being totally bitchy, I'm putting it in somewhat of a biblical format so it sounds less like I'm nothing but irritated.

THE CINEPLEX-10 ... COMMANDMENTS:

1. Thou shalt not talk during the movie, except in an emergency situation.

Choking on your Junior Mints is an acceptable emergency (well, barely). Loudly discussing your dread of the impending WASL and how it will "majorly suck" is NOT. Standardized testing is a way of life for you and I am sorry for it, but whine about it Monday, please. By the way, Amber, I do not recommend texting answers to each other. It would not, as you are thinking, be "...so totally funny to get busted."   For crying out loud... are you serious???

2. Thou shalt not rustle thy bag of popcorn/nachos/pretzels/candy more than is absolutely necessary to retrieve said vittles from their container.

   Try to restrain your crinkling and ripping sounds to the noisier sequences in the film so other viewers can still hear what’s going on. I assure you I did not pay $12 to listen to you eat.

3. Thou shalt not take a seat in middle of a row if thou art plagued with a pea-sized bladder.

   Sit on the aisle or invest in a catheter.

4. Thou shalt not use the movie theater as a garbage dump.

   Other people are coming into the theater right after you. They have no desire to wade through your trash or get glued to the floor because you spilled your Coke-Zero and Milk Duds. Trash receptacles are your friends. Know them.   Love them.

5. Thou shalt not engage in heavy petting and/or making out in a crowded theater.

   Your exhibitionism does not impress me. In fact, it’s really unfair for you to distract me with your attempt at steamy romance when I paid good money to watch that kind of thing on the big screen.

6. Thou shalt not kick, pull on, or otherwise manhandle the seat of the viewer in front of you.

    Perhaps your legs have atrophied from all that buttery popcorn you’ve been stuffing down. Is that why you feel the need to grab my seat and yank on it for dear life as you shuffle down the row on your fourth trip to the restroom?

7. Thou shalt not allow thy offspring to run rampant around the theater.

   Seriously … I don’t care if they’re easily bored or adorably rambunctious. Make them sit it down and shut it up or someone else may do it for you since it takes a village. How about you consider the age-old practice of a babysitter? You can still get one for way cheaper than you paid to bring that herd in here!

8. Thou shalt not give away the entire plot before the film starts.

You’ve seen it 3 times already? Really? Guess what… I HAVEN’T. I don’t care how “totally sweet” you think it is. You are not employed as a movie critic, so zip it!

9. Thou shalt not taunt those who enjoy watching the credits.

If you have a burning need to get out of the theater as soon as the lights go up, do so quickly and quietly. Don’t just stand there looking stupid and blocking the view of people sitting behind you. Some people actually like to watch the credits, you know. Some people even see it as a sign of respect to the filmmakers. I know, it sounds lame...but so is that tramp-stamp of a tattoo you're pretending you're not trying to flaunt. Such a sad way to display an innocent Disney character.

10. Thou shalt not, under any circumstances, use thy cellular device during the movie.

   This includes making or answering phone calls, sending text messages, or looking up interesting trivia about the movie you’re watching in an attempt to show off to your friends afterwards. You know all those “Silence Your Cell Phone” videos they show before every film? Those were made just for you, sweetie. Now… do as the pretty lights command you.

   That is all.   Sorry for my repressed rage.